Many of us have heard of “Tour of the Stars” in Hollywood; a bus tour to see where they live (seldom “how” they live). Well, the Bible also offers tours, free of charge, during which we can learn about families in the Bible…how they succeeded of failed, that is, the “good, the bad and the ugly.” These are real families; not “acting” and “pretending.” The “homes” of the stars are mostly “fallen stars.”  The “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” are cardboard props; make-up; lights; memorized lines; “special effects”; etc. This a reality tour…

“Now all these things happened unto them for examples: they are written for our ammunition upon whom the ends of the world are come. Wherefore let him that thinketh

he standeth take heed lest he fall.” 

(I Corinthians 10:11,12)

REMEMBER: TRUTH CHANGES NOTHING…ONLY APPLIED TRUTH! 

IN THE BIBLE THERE ARE HOMES OF TRIUMPH AND TRAGEDY; SUCCESS AND FAILURE; SAD AND HAPPY; BLESSED AND CURSED. PAY ATTENTION..AND LEARN. 

“STOP TRYING TO GIVE YOUR KIDS ALL THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T HAVE, AND START TEACHING THEM THE THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW. 

#1 THE HOME OF ADAM AND EVE

 (Gen. 4:1-16)

This is the oldest home, the first home in the Bible…and what happened there has affected every home since. 

Gen. 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother; and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.”   “Leave (the priority of marriage), Cleave (the permanence of marriage) and Weave (the purpose of marriage).?

First impression as l”look out the window of the bus?” Something has happened; something is wrong; not what I expected. (By the way, up front, God has given us a free will. He does not make us do anything!)

Walk up toward the “house” - there is blood on the ground. First murder. Adam and Eve had a perfect home in a perfect place, but… SIN RUINED EVERYTHING! Sin is selfishness…I want to do what I want to do! 

Notice weeds, thorns, thistles…?

No singing…no laughter, no sweetness! Only Bitterness! 

Cain and Abel both had the same parents! Was there a breakdown in communication? Favoritism? Jealousy? Maybe Adam and Eve didn’t agree on spiritual matters? Maybe…Cain thought he could “get away with it” like his parents thought. Maybe Adam and Eve thought “It really doesn’t matter as longs you are sincere!” 

“HERE IS A VIVID PICTURE OF THE COST OF DISOBEDIENCE AND IT’S EFFECT ON THE FAMILY…

God covered Adam and Eve with skins from the death of an innocent animal,  A PICTURE OF CHRIST, THE LAMB THAT TAKETH AWAY THE SIN OF THE WORLD)..but sin left its mark. 

TEN COMMANDMENTS ARE LOVE LETTERS!

 1Jo 5:3

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.GOD WANTS YOU TO PROSPER….PSALM 35:27; JOSHUA 1:7,8

THREE “MUSTS” FOR THE SUCCESSFUL HOME:

1. CHRIST MUST BE EXALTED

Col 1:18

And he is the head of the body, the church: who is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead; that in all things he might have the preeminence.

Note: Matthew 6:33

The family must see and understand that their home revolves around Christ. 

2. SIN MUST BE EXPOSED

Pro 28:13

He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy.

Sin constantly “seeps” into our homes like a germs. If it is not dealt with daily, it will lead to INFECTION and everybody is affected.

3. LOVE MUST BE EXPRESSED

Unless love is expressed it is useless. Our spouse and our children must “feel” they are loved…”hear” they are loved and “see” they are loved.

“Train up a child in the way he should go…” (Proverbs 22:6a)

Deuteronomy 6; Psalm 78; Ephesians 6:4; Colossians 3:21

Introduction: When I was a young boy riding in the car in Jacksonville, Florida with my family, we narrowly missed getting hit by a train. For years I was afraid to cross a train track. I am extra careful even to this day. 

My text is Proverbs 22:6a, “…train up a child in the way he should go.” WATCH OUT FOR TRAINS! 

Our children, Jason and Tammy, did not have the best parents in the world, but they had parents who wanted to be. We made mistakes. If we had a second chance we would probably do better because of what we have learned. But, PRAISE GOD, they are both in church, serving the LORD, reading their Bible, praying, and trying to live a godly life. 

There are few things in this world that disturb us more, or ought to, than CHILD ABUSE. It screams loudly for righteous indignation. Many today, no doubt, have suffered some child abuse. Child abuse can be healed, thank God…the healing of the memories is possible through Christ. Child abusers can be forgiven and cured; it is not the unforgivable sin. 

We live in a godless world and a godless nation and we are reaping the whirlwind in our children. Although we all were born with a sin nature….IN THESE DAYS IN WHICH WE LIVE CHILDREN ARE TAUGHT HOW TO SIN AT THE EARLIEST AGE EVER! Right is called wrong and wrong is called right! Our children have been stripped from naivety and innocence. They are taught that there are no absolute wrongs and rights…that they can decide for themselves.

The Bible says “There arose a generation that did that which was right in their own eyes….” “There arose a generation that knew not God.” THIS IS ONE OF THE MANY REASONS FOR A CHRISTIAN SCHOOL, A SUNDAY SCHOOL, AND TEACHING AND PREACHING THE WORD OF GOD…FOR THEIR PROSPERITY AND SAFETY IN A WORLD SET ON DESTRUCTION.

What constitutes “child abuse?” Is it just physical and verbal abuse. NO! I want you to consider, from the Bible’s perspective other types of child abuse. IT IS CHILD ABUSE….

1. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAKEN TO CHURCH WITH THEIR PARENTS.
2. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT THE BIBLE.
3. WHEN THEY ARE NOT PRAYED FOR DAILY.
4. WHEN THEY ARE NOT DISCIPLINED.
5. WHEN THEY ARE NOT PROTECTED FROM THE MEDIA (especially from pornography)
6. WHEN THEY ARE NOT GIVEN A GOOD EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW
7. WHEN THEIR QUESTIONS ARE NOT ANSWERED AND EXPLAINED.
8. WHEN THEY ARE NEGLECTED
9. WHEN THEY ARE SPOILED
10. WHEN THEY ARE NOT GIVEN BOUNDARIES
11. WHEN THEY THEY SELDOM HEAR THE WORDS, “I LOVE YOU.”
12. WHEN THEY ARE NOT NOTICED WHEN THEY DO SOMETHING RIGHT. 
13. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT TO WORK…RESPONSIBILITY.
14. WHEN THEY ARE TOLD WHAT TO DO, BUT NOT HOW.
15. WHEN THEY SEE HYPOCRISY AND INCONSISTENCY IN THE HOME AND THE CHURCH.
16. WHEN THEY ARE NOT GIVEN THE GOSPEL CLEARLY.
17. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT GOOD MANNERS LIKE RESPECT.
18. WHEN THEY NOT TAUGHT HOW TO DRESS.
19. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT REVERENCE FOR GOD AND HIS HOUSE.
20. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT HOW TO PRAY.
21. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT ABOUT THE ENEMY.
22. WHEN THE PARENTS ARE TOO STRICT OR TOO LENIENT.                                                                      
23. WHEN THE HOME IS NOT A HAVEN…A PLACE OF PEACE AND QUIET.
24. WHEN THEY ARE NOT KISSED AND HUGGED…SHOWN AFFECTION.
25. WHEN THEY DON’T FEEL SAFE.
26. WHEN THEY DON’T HAVE THE RIGHT KIND OF FRIENDS.
27. WHEN THEY DON’T HAVE MUCH LAUGHTER IN THE HOME.                                         
28. WHEN THEY ARE NOT TAUGHT TO SAY, “I AM SORRY.”
29. WHEN THEY ARE NOT GIVEN THE RIGHT EDUCATION.
30. WHEN THEIR PARENTS GIVE UP ON THEM. 

Gen. 8:18, 20a; Hebrews 11:7

What is the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the name…NOAH? Flood? Ark? Animals? What about his family?  What about their life as a family for those 120 years before it started raining for the first time? 

“THE” DAY is coming…”at the door” when Christ shall return just as He said. But how we live NOW, until the trumpet sounds, is what will make the difference in families.

THE DARKER THE NIGHT…THE BRIGHTER THE LIGHT MUST BE. During the plague of darkness in Exodus, “Israel had light in their dwellings…” (Exodus 10:23b)

I have always felt that Noah is often under-rated compared to some of the other “heroes” of the Bible. He is mentioned in the “Hall of Faith” in Hebrews 11 and Jesus brought him up in regard to the signs of the last days. He lived in the worse time in history…with his family and they all were saved from the judgement of the flood.

HE WAS A MAN OF DECISION

HE WAS A MAN WHO MOVED

HE WAS A MAN OF FAITH IN GOD

HE WAS A FAMILY MAN! He loved his family and swung the hammer with them in mind!

HE WAS A MAN OF WORSHIP (DEVOTION)

HE WAS A MAN OF FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS (What if Noah had followed directions generally? Short-cuts? Substitutes for material? HE FOLLOWED THE WORD OF GOD SPECIFICALLY! CAREFULLY! COMPLETELY!

HE WAS A MAN OF DILIGENCE (He would never have said, “…that’s good enough” because the survival of his family was at stake.

HE WAS A MAN WHO WAS DIFFERENT AND WILLING TO BE MOCKED FOR IT.

Proverbs 15:13-22

Stress and tension will eventually take it’s toll on the family, including children. I play the guitar and sometimes I forget to loosen the strings when I am not using it. They are under strain until one breaks at usually the most inopportune time. Too often marriages and families are stretched to the limit and break causing great pain and sorrow. Let me share with you four things found in Proverbs 15 that can help a great deal and avoid family breakdowns.

1. We must learn to ENJOY LIFE. (15:13, 15)

It is a well worn cliche’ but still with repeating, “the family that plays together, stays together.” I know it sounds simplistic and old fashion, but it is powerful. We are losing our children to the world because they do not see much fun being in a Christian family. Laughter and a good sense of humor is a sign of intelligence. There are 3 simple rules for raising children: BE FAIR, BE FIRM, BE FUN!

My children do not remember many of the thousands of sermons they heard through the years, but they often bring up fun times we had together.

2. Cultivate CONTENTMENT. (15:16, 17)

Most of our moods in the average home are affected by material things. Many families today feel they must go somewhere or buy something in order to be happy. Contentment is a rare jewel but it does not come natural. It must be cultivated. 

Picture a small apartment. The husband comes home from work and the mother is in the kitchen cooking supper. On the supper table there is no linen tablecloth; just plastic place matts. All the dishes do not match. There is no silverware, just stainless steel and a couple of the forks are bent. They use paper napkin. The family all sit down tougher and are having a vegetable plate seasoned to perfection. (note again vs. 17). Dad tells a joke, all are laughing, they hold hands and pray thanking God for their food and family; they talk about what each did that day while enjoying supper. 

Now….picture a big mansion, big columns, three car garage, plush carpet, a long table with appetizers, crystal glasses and china…at one end is the father with a scowl on his face and is harsh and abrupt; at the other end is the mother with a stone face; the kids are fighting; no prayer; a maid brings in the roast…no one is smiling, there is complaints and criticism, etc. NOW….WHICH HOUSE DO YOU WANT TO SIT WITH? 

Paul says in I Timothy 6:6, “But godliness with contentment is great gain.

3. Alleviate ANGER. (15:18)  All anger is not bad but many times in the home anger is focuses on a person rather than the problem. The “tongue can no man tame” but the Holy Spirit can produce His fruit in us…love, joy, peace, long-suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Imagine if an entire family would seek the Holy Spirit’s filling.

4. Walk in WISDOM (15:21,22) NOTE: Proverbs 24:3,4

Stress in the home is evidence that we have forsaken the wisdom of God which is ours for the asking. “…the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without hypocrisy.” (James 3:17)

“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it….” (Psalm 127:1a)

Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old he will not depart from it. 

Proverbs 22:6

There is bitter IRONY in the fact that he who penned these words (Solomon) son of the dedicated David, the “friend of God”, the man “after God’s own heart”; forsook the counsel of his father (I Chron. 28:9; 2 Chron. 7:17) and “turned away his heart after other gods” in flagrant, open disobedience to the expressed will of God (I Kings 11:1-13). 

And, it is remarkable that the sacred historian particularly observed that it was “when Solomon was old” that this occurred (I Kings 11:4). He had not properly received and adapted the instruction of his father. IT IS ONE THING TO BE TAUGHT SOMETHING, IT IS QUITE ANOTHER TO “RECEIVE” IT.

Many have questioned and debated this verse over the ages. Some believe it to be a promise that children will never go astray and break a parents heart or do injury. This verse is NOT a guarantee; this is a “general” statement. Everyone has a will.

It is a proverb, NOT a promise. 

I have never known a child not to get off the path of righteousness now and then. I have never met a perfect child. A great many parents, too many, are plagued with guilt and regret over their children; defeated, discouraged and depressed. Every child, at some point, must begin making their own choices. Many children are influenced by people who are not in their family; through television and the media; some just make unwise choices based on feelings or lack of information. And then there is the devil; the greatest adversary of the home.

They must learn and experience the consequences of their decisions. That is life. The Bible is filled with examples of men and women who made both good and bad decisions and the consequences.

Every parent, if they are normal, trembled at the first sight of that new born baby. Even those parents who were not Christians, probably said a prayer, “O God, help me!” Every parent had dreams of the future of their children. BUT MANY OF THOSE DREAMS DO NOT COME TRUE! 

LISTEN: GOD IS THE PERFECT FATHER...YET...HIS CHILDREN OFTEN, MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, STRAY.

GOD GIVES US A FREE WILL! GOD SPEAKS, OFFERS, PLEADS, BLESSES, AND YET MANY OF HIS CHILDREN TURN.

God’s own people, Israel, often willfully disobeyed their “Father” and it broke His heart. They, at times, would come back, at other times they would not. 

I believe this verse in our text is a principle and a challenge; even a command. “Train” means to “model”. “In the way he should go” may also refer to their “bend”... the life God has designed for them; don’t make them what YOU want them to be when they grow up!

Illus. some parents want their kids to be athletes because they were, but a particular child does not have the ability or interest. Don’t compare your children with other children and take notice of what they “lean” toward. 

“When they are old” (what is old?) “....they will not depart form it.”

While Proverbs 22:6 is NOT a guarantee, it is hopeful; it is more likely; it is to their benefit that if they are taught, trained, coached, given a good example....they will not forget it and may not forsake it! And if they do, they will come back.

When children grow up and go out into the world, they will notice the lifestyles of others AND THE CONSEQUENCES. IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, BUT SOONER OR LATER THEY WILL COMPARE THEIR LIFE TO THEIR PARENTS. 

If parents are genuine, faithful, consistent...it will be hard for the children to choose to live a godless life and the awful consequences of it but not impossible.

They will not depart easily; It is much harder for children, when they grow older, to forget how they were raised (the brain records everything and we all have “flashbacks” of things we didn’t know we knew or we forgot;  there are exceptions to this observation; but generally, where there is a good education, the impressions of it do not easily wear off, nor do men ordinarily forsake a good way they have been brought up in.  However, when they come to years of maturity and understanding, their hearts are seasoned with the grace of God, they are then enabled to put that in practice which before they had only in theory, and so continue in the paths of truth and holiness.

After children are taught by parents who do the best they know how, 

those children have to be tested. The test doesn’t mean failure on the part of the teacher, it means more teaching is necessary. Life is about learning. Ever heard of “The university of hard knocks”? 

Remember Job 1:5 “....it may be....” Job couldn’t guarantee his kids would NOT sin. He prayed for them daily.

Parents need to understand that their mature children will make their own decisions about whether to obey God or not. While parents certainly need to teach and encourage their children to choose God’s way, they also need to realize that their children may have to learn through trial and error and that they may choose a different path than the one in which they grew up. HARD BUT TRUE!

I found a paragraph from an old English writer named “Clarkson” many years ago that was “right on”...

“Not the very best training of the very wisest parents in the world can positively secure goodness and wisdom in their children. For when they have done everything in their power, there must remain that element of individuality which will choose its own course and form its own character. Our children may choose to reject the truth we teach them, and to slight the example we set them, and to despise the counsel we give them. In the will of every child there is a power which cannot be forced, which can only won. Therefore:

1. Let all parents seek, beside training their children in good habits, to win their hearts to themselves (Rules without relationships = rebellion) and to that Divine Wisdom in whose friendship and service alone will they be safe. Where sagacity (rigid penetrating intelligence; rules, strictly by the book) may fail, affection will triumph. Command and persuasion are the two weapons which parental wisdom will do its best to wield.

2. Let all children understand that for their character and their destiny they must themselves be responsible. All the very worthiest and wisest influences of home will lead to no good result if they oppose to them a rebellious spirit, if they do not receive them in the spirit of docility. There is but one gate of entrance into life, and that is the personal, individual acceptance of Jesus christ as the Lord and Savior of the spirit. The parent may lead his child up to it, but the child must pass through it of its own accord.”

Although I do not believe we recognize and realize the

seriousness and powerful possibilities of this verse, there are few things to compare with teaching children. Setting a child’s course and guiding them as we look over their shoulder is an awesome responsibility with glorious possibilities. People, all people, no matter what they become in life and in eternity, were once babies untaught and unlearned.

God said to fathers in Deuteronomy 6 “And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.” (6:7). He was talking about the Word of God taught to children. 

In Psalm 127, He compares children to arrows... prepared, polished, pointed and propelled into the world to influence, confront and preserve.

Every parent has experienced broken hearts over their children. Every parent! Or...they will. God alone is the healer of broken hearts and His grace will be sufficient. 

So what do parents do about their children who are not serving God and seem to have no interest in serving God?

1. PRAY WITHOUT CEASING - For God to break their heart; For God to humble them; For God to put someone in their path for their good; For God’s mercy to be extended to them; etc. 
2. HOPE - Psalm 71:14
3. CONTINUE A CONSISTENT WALK WITH GOD
4. KEEP COMMUNICATING WITH THEM (Cards, letters, phone, etc.)
5. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS NOT ACCEPTANCE OF THEIR LIFESTYLE
6. ASK FOR THE COMFORT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT
7. REFUST TO ALLOW THE DEVIL TO ATTACK YOU AND DIVERT YOU WITH GUILT, FEAR AND ANGER.
8. KEEP A DOOR OPEN WITH THE “PORCH LIGHT ON” (Luke 15 - the Prodigal Son)

GOD HEARS YOUR PRAYERS AND HE IS WORKING BEHIND THE SCENES.